Poem for the day

For this Thursday Night Insight blog piece today
A change is what I need
From proposals, tabs and reporting
To a poem that’s entertaining to read.

The challenge was what I should write about
For a poem still requires a story
So I thought I’d describe the life of research
From pain and pressure to glory.

The researcher’s job is quite tricky
Meeting needs that are complex and broad
With demands for speedier deliveries
We think we deserve an award!

We often bid against rivals
Who are never as transparent as we are
Research buyers may push for the lowest price
And they think they’ve the best deal by far!

We’re rarely told a budget
So how best to scope out the job?
How many countries, interviews, qual or quant?
We do all we can to save a few bob.

Please, don’t talk of “statistical validity”
Of “internal politics”, “no budget” or “timescale”
These are barriers and are pain to our ears
Such terms should be locked up in jail!

We ask for respect for our profession
For the long hours and value we add
Transforming data into intelligence
Boosting sales for which you’ll be glad.

In truth we’re detectives, psychics, agony aunts
Forecasting and giving advice
We make decision-makers open up to us
And can calculate the elasticity of price.

We understand the importance of segmentation
We know what drives loyalty, yes we do!
We provide guidance on new market entry
And we give strategic recommendations too!

OK so we’re not doctors, pilots or vicars
We don’t save lives, fly, or help pray for forgiveness
But when all’s said and done, we’re unique
In that we feel the pulse of business.

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